Practical Psychology is a weekly newspaper column I have been writing for over 20 years. It is designed to address psychological topics that are most useful to its readers. Please feel free to re-print any of them in any form you wish. I ask only that you give the information about how to subscribe and credit for authorship. Thanks.

WHY WE GET ANGRY
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

A few years ago during a television show, a man turned green, blew himself up like a balloon, split open his shirts, and roared. When "The Hulk" became angry, everybody knew it!

When ordinary people feel irritated, angry, mad, or enraged, they may or may not change color, "blow up," tear things apart, and yell. Some people overtly demonstrate their anger. Others "keep it all inside" and never "show it," in an overt fashion. The latter can be dangerous to one's health.

Of all our human emotions, the three most powerful are those feelings we call fear, sex, and of course, anger. Each of these emotions is a distinct, powerful, physiological reaction which occurs within each of us under certain specific circumstances.

Psychologists believe that our physiological ability to become angry serves a definite purpose. Our anger has helped us to survive and evolve as a specie. Anger's evolutionary value may not be so obvious to us in contemporary society, but there are identifiable circumstances under which our anger is natural and can be highly useful.

One such circumstance is whenever we are frustrated. We become frustrated when we are blocked or prevented from reaching the goals we have in mind. A goal might be as small as hammering a nail. We become frustrated, when we miss the nail head and smack the board with the hammer. A goal might he as big as a career promotion. We become frustrated when someone else gets the position and we don't.

Whenever we are blocked from reaching an intended goal, our bodies respond with anger. The purpose of the response is to empower us to move around, over, under, or through the blockage. When frustrated, our anger is designed to overcome in some way, the blockage and attain our intended goals. If we never attain our intended goals, we remain helpless, dependent, and may even die.

Another circumstance in which we become angry is when we are hurting in some way. If something or someone is hurting us, our bodies respond with anger. The anger is for protecting ourselves and preventing the hurt from continuing. When someone hits us, we may become angry enough to strike back. If we choose to hit back, we need our anger to empower us sufficiently to "overcome" the other. In this instance, our anger is hopefully strong and energizing enough to stop the hurt from continuing. Thus, our anger can be a powerful self-protector.

The anger response becomes more complicated when the "hurt" is a result of a need getting bigger and not being addressed. When we are needy, our anger response is designed to give us powerful energy to meet the need. For example, the more emotionally needy we become, the angrier we get. On a cultural scale, the needier the population becomes, the angrier they become.

Another way our anger can protect us is when we use it aggressively in reaction to feeling threatened. When we perceive another to be threatening us, we may use our anger to yell louder, throw things, jump up and down, attack or run faster at the threat. The purpose of this expression of our anger is to intimidate (or overpower) the threat sufficiently to make them stop their intimidation of us! This method of self protection fails to work very well when the other threatening one perceives our aggression to be a challenge and responds with even greater anger/aggression. Today, many nations are caught up in such angry, defensive posturing and aggressive activity (war).

On television, The Hulk used his rage to either help himself or protect others. Today, we are keenly aware of how destructive our angry actions can be to ourselves, others, and our environment. Now we understand: it is not so important that we have anger. Experiencing it is a natural part of being human. What's crucially important is what we do with our anger when we feel it and express it.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.

Dr. Thomas also serves on the faculty of the Institute For Life Coach Training and the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: *Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice*and Your Life!* (W.W. Norton 2005) available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

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