Practical Psychology is a weekly newspaper column I have been writing for over 20 years. It is designed to address psychological topics that are most useful to its readers. Please feel free to re-print any of them in any form you wish. I ask only that you give the information about how to subscribe and credit for authorship. Thanks.
USING ANGER CREATIVELY
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.
We usually consider the emotion of anger to be destructive to our
psychological health. In recovery from psychological difficulties
however, anger is often a sign of healing. Of all the varieties of
emotions, fear and anger are probably the least understood and the
least used effectively. They are also the most powerful. They need
to be controlled. They are rarely considered a sign of health or
creativity.
The emotional experience we call "anger" is nothing more than our
bodies providing us with quick, powerful energy. Anger is energy,
fuel for us to move more powerfully. Unfortunately, how we move in
anger is often destructive. We hit someone, break something, throw a
fit, smash something or otherwise create chaos in our lives.
Most of us were taught to be "nice" people. And nice people are
rarely taught how to use their anger creatively. Since angry behavior
is usually not nice, we conclude that anger itself is not nice. We
learn to hold our angry energy inside, deny it, block its expression,
hide it, lie about it, drug it, ignore it, stifle it or muffle it.
Nice people rarely listen to it, learn from it and practice using it
creatively.
Bodily energy is what allows us to function. Angry energy allows us
to function more powerfully. Anger is meant to empower us. It is
meant to be acted upon. It is not meant to be acted out!
In her book, "The Artist's Way," Julia Cameron writes: "...anger is
a map. Anger shows us where we want to go. Anger points the
direction. We are meant to use anger as fuel to take the actions we
need to move where our anger points. With a little thought, we can
usually translate the message that our anger is sending us."
Anger becomes entangled in psychological problems when we either
fear it or when we become angry at being angry. Fearing anger makes
us defensive about it. We protect ourselves from what others might
think of us if they knew about our anger. We feel ashamed of it. Out
of fear of anger, we diminish (or re-define) our self-assertiveness.
We begin to believe something to be wrong with us. Fearing our own
anger, we never seek to fully express our emotions, thereby limiting
ourselves from feeling fully alive. We keep our anger hidden from
others and rob ourselves from relationships which are rich with
emotional sharing.
When we become angry that we experience anger, our anger hardens
into what is called "hostility." The medical community has
established chronic hostility as a risk factor in the development of
heart disease. Hostility accounts for many more stress-related
diseases than only cardiovascular disease.
Anger can heal us. Again, Cameron writes: "Anger is a tool, not a
master. Anger is meant to be tapped into and drawn upon. Used
properly, anger is use-full. Sloth, apathy, and despair are the
enemy. Anger is not. Anger is our friend. Not a nice friend. Not a
gentle friend. But a very, very loyal friend. It will always tell us
when we have been betrayed. It will always tell us when we have
betrayed ourselves. It will always tell us that it is time to act in
our own best interests. Anger is not the action itself. It is
action's invitation."
Anger naturally occurs when we have been violated in some way. It
always occurs when we betray ourselves. Whenever we act in ways which
violate our true nature or undermines our own purposes, we will
experience anger.
Psychological healing begins when we identify our anger. Then we
need to learn to powerfully use anger in support of ourselves and
those behaviors that serve our own best interests and the best
interests of those we love. When we use angry energy to support the
best in ourselves and others, we begin to heal psychologically. When
we become skilled at using anger in this way, we become
psychologically, if not also physically healthier. Indeed, skillful
and creative use of anger enriches our experience of being alive.
Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.
Dr. Thomas also serves on the faculty of the Institute For Life Coach Training and the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: *Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice*and Your Life!* (W.W. Norton 2005) available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.
Return to Article Index