Practical Psychology is a weekly newspaper column I have been writing for over 20 years. It is designed to address psychological topics that are most useful to its readers. Please feel free to re-print any of them in any form you wish. I ask only that you give the information about how to subscribe and credit for authorship. Thanks.

SURVIVOR SKILLS
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

After hurricanes Rita and Katrina, I asked myself: **Why is it that some people succumb rather quickly to serious, but survivable, circumstances and others survive what seems to be the most fatal of circumstances?** **Why do some people come out of extreme circumstances and are stronger in character for it, while others perish under similar circumstances?** What skills or personal qualities do survivors possess that non-survivors do not? Below are some possible answers.

Survivors believe the situation is survivable and strongly believe that they will live. They avoid falling into the trap of denial: denying the situation is so bad and becoming passive or immobile in response to fear. True survivors often experience fear or panic as sharpening their senses, making them more alert, cognitively more vigilant and clear in their thinking. They also immediately recognize the danger and believe they are the only ones to get themselves out of it. They take responsibility for addressing the situation. They make use of their fear, sometimes turning it into anger...a very powerful and empowering emotion.

People who survive disasters use their adrenaline to think more clearly, analyze the situation more accurately, and plan an action. If in a group, the survivor often takes on the role of leader. S/he organizes quickly, invites discipline and takes control of the situation. Lone survivors often speak of hearing a disembodied voice or experiencing a **force outside** themselves that **takes control of the entire situation.** Some identify these experiences as **God,** or **guardian angels,** or deceased relatives. Who is to say they are not? In any event, survivors either use or set aside their emotions and direct their thinking and focus their attention on addressing the situation.

Survivors take risks to save themselves or others. These risks are often bold, but cautious and deliberate at the same time. They take action! Sometimes survivors confront seemingly insurmountable tasks with single small steps. They break down huge tasks into smaller ones that, when accomplished, lead to safety or rescue. They make very few mistakes in their risk-taking behavior.

Survivors find joy in the smallest things. They celebrate every breath...every completed task. In his book, **Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why,** (W. W. Norton, 2003), author Laurence Gonzales writes, **Survivors take great joy from even their smallest accomplishments. This helps keep motivation high and prevents a lethal plunge into despair.** **A survivor always tells herself: *(reg)Count your blessings---you**re alive.****

People who survive days, even years of threat (e.g. prisoners of war), often consider themselves to be a **rescuer** and not a victim. They will often perceive their survival as necessary for the sake of others...a spouse or children; their buddies or team. **I didn**t want my children to grow up without me** is their attitude. They perceive their own survival to rescues others from experiencing the pain of losing them. They live for others** sake.

Survivors acknowledge and accept death as inevitable. **Yes, I will die. We all do. But not now...not today.** **Today, I take joy in the little things that demonstrate I am still alive.** Christopher Reeve, after almost dying twice in 1994 reported, **I considered being able to blink a triumph. It assured me I was still alive.**

Survivors also never give up. They always believe they will succeed in staying alive. They remain determined to do whatever is necessary to stay alive. Hope remains in their minds no matter what the external circumstances are.

I invite you to strengthen these survival skills before your life is threatened. Become an effective survivor before the need for immediate survival arises. You will become a lot more fearless, a lot more confident and psychologically a lot more free. You**ll likely live longer as well.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.

Dr. Thomas also serves on the faculty of the Institute For Life Coach Training and the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: *Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice*and Your Life!* (W.W. Norton 2005) available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

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