Practical Psychology is a weekly newspaper column I have been writing for over 20 years. It is designed to address psychological topics that are most useful to its readers. Please feel free to re-print any of them in any form you wish. I ask only that you give the information about how to subscribe and credit for authorship. Thanks.

BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

A few years ago, I watched actor, Christopher Reeve, paralyzed from his neck down, speak to a TV interviewer. What struck me the most was his obvious self-confidence. Here was a man who was active and athletic, for whom confidence was a given, and who now was physically reduced to movement from his neck up. He could no longer even breathe by himself. He was confidently speaking of his future and his actively participation in pursuit of his chosen goals.

There was no lack of self-confidence in that man! Keep him in mind as you continue to read. Lack of confidence in one's self is the breeding ground for all kinds of psychological difficulties. Minimal self-confidence is one of our greatest mental weaknesses. Poor self-confidence is created in childhood through: experiencing repeated frustration at self-expression; lack of practice at personal-skill building; receiving negative or critical messages about one's self; experiencing psychological or physical trauma, and sometimes just from the observation that you are less competent in coping in the world. Certainly, regular shaming or humiliation stunts healthy development of self-confidence. T

he handicap of poor self-confidence can be overcome. Timidity can be translated into courage. Shyness can be converted to assertiveness. One of the most powerful psychological tools in building self-confidence is through repetitive self-affirmation. Self-affirming thoughts can be created simply through writing some on paper, memorizing them, and repeating them until they become a part of your own subconscious mind. Here are some psychological exercises which, along with corresponding self-affirmations, can help you build realistic confidence in yourself. Update any and all inaccurate beliefs you hold of yourself. Most of your beliefs about you were formulated when you were a child. They need to be reformulated to conform to your adulthood.

Self-beliefs need to be regularly updated to account for your own growth and change...even changes you may not be aware of. Self-affirmation: "I regularly reconsider who I am and the talents and abilities I possess." Keep in mind what baseball player, Dizzy Dean, once said... "If it's the truth, it ain't braggin'" Realize that you have the ability to achieve the objectives and your purpose(s) in life. Even if those objectives or purpose(s) are still unknown, be aware that your ability to achieve them is always within. Self-affirmation: " I demand of myself continuous and persistent action toward the attainment of the objectives I set for myself." Become aware that the thoughts you hold regularly in mind, those that dominate your thinking, will eventually produce outward behavior and become gradually transformed into physical reality. Thoughts are internal energetic events. Energy is the basis for all creation. Forming mental energy into specific thoughts gradually translates into physical realities. Self-affirmation: "At lease for 30 minutes a day, I clearly envision the person I intend to become." Confine your activities exclusively to those that benefit everyone they affect, including yourself. Human history has proven repeatedly that no position endures unless it is built upon justice and truth. Eliminate hostility, hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism, through the development of appreciation and love of all living beings...including yourself. Self-affirmation: "I am honest and fair and loving in all my behavior toward myself, as well as others." As Christopher Reeve thought, so was he. As he affirmed his abilities and talents, so he became.

If you want to create greater self-confidence, think of yourself as being confident. Act in ways that you know any self-confident person would act. Engage in those actions until they become "natural." Identify and affirm those skills, abilities and talents you have and those you wish to develop. Begin to think and act self-confidently, even if you feel scared, awkward or negative, and you gradually alter your self-image...your beliefs about yourself. Moreover, it is after all, the image you have of yourself and nothing else, that forms the foundation for confidence. Perhaps if you play the role of Superman long enough in your imagination, you develop super confidence. If Reeve could maintain that image, so can you regardless of your physical status.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.

Dr. Thomas also serves on the faculty of the Institute For Life Coach Training and the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: *Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice*and Your Life!* (W.W. Norton 2005) available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

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