Practical Psychology is a weekly newspaper column I have been writing for over 20 years. It is designed to address psychological topics that are most useful to its readers. Please feel free to re-print any of them in any form you wish. I ask only that you give the information about how to subscribe and credit for authorship. Thanks.

RESOLVED: TO BECOME FREE
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

Two days ago, I made a New Year's Resolution: "In 2007, I will become free." No one ever taught me how to be free. I always believed that freedom is something offered me by my country, by my obeying the law or by engaging in any behavior that crossed my mind. Today, I know that genuine freedom is never bestowed on anyone from the outside. Freedom is an inside job!

Fear is our greatest enslaver. To become truly free, we need to give up our imprisoning defenses against our own anxiety. When we are truly threatened, our fear response is very useful...even life-saving. Fear provides instant energy to empower us to run faster, fight harder or freeze longer. It is an emotional survival tool. In the absence of a real, genuine threat, fear and our defenses against it can enslave us.

Richard L. Evans once wrote: "It isn't always others who enslave us. Sometimes we let circumstances enslave us; sometimes we let routine enslave us; sometimes we let things enslave us; sometimes, with weak [fearful] wills, we enslave ourselves." How do we set ourselves free from fear? Here are a few hints.

The primary step in becoming free of fear is taking full charge (responsibility) for your life. Becoming the master of your own life requires self-discipline. But self-discipline is not easily attained or maintained. Business consultant, Stephen R. Covey says that self-discipline "demands the mental stamina to overcome empty passions and faulty habits. It also requires the fortitude to resist the pull of so many temptations [such as unnecessary fears] that otherwise might lure us toward meaningless sideshows. But more than anything, it demands a relentless focus on what matters most."

The next step in becoming free is to learn new habits. Most of our fearful behaviors are unconscious. They were practiced when we were young children...when the world and everyone in it was bigger and stronger than we were. We practiced what psychologists call "psychological defenses" until they became habits. Whenever we felt anxious, we engaged in these childhood defenses until they became automatic...that is "unconscious." Unconscious habits in response to the emotion of fear usually stay with us into adulthood. More often than not, they become self-defeating as adults. Worry, withdrawal, mindless attack, unwillingness to risk anything new, social isolation, inappropriate expression of humor, harsh criticism, self-abusing behavior and negativity are all examples of defenses against fear. Unfortunately, these fear-reducing habits limit us. They become our jailors. To them we lose our personal freedom to make choices that will enrich our lives and our happiness. We become incarcerated by our own fear-based, childhood emotional habits.

The next step in becoming truly free is to stay focused. Persist on remaining focused on the new habits you want to develop to replace your old ones. Mark Twain once quipped, "A habit cannot be tossed out the window: it must be coaxed down the stairs one step at a time." You cannot safely walk downstairs without focusing on the placement of your feet. Most happy, successful people have achieved their goals, and their freedom, only after focused struggles to replace bad habits with good. Abigail Van Buren said, "A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project."

In 2007, I have resolved to become free. I will accomplish that by self-discipline, consciously choosing new habits to make them unconscious, focused attention and persistent practice of new fearless emotions and behaviors.

The Greek philosopher, Epictetus, said, "No man is free who is not a master of himself." Some people regard self-discipline as a major chore. Actually, it is a skill that will set you free...free to fearlessly become whomever you choose to be. Harry Emerson Fosdick once wrote, "No life ever grows until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined." May your year of 2007 be disciplined, committed, focused on fearless growth and genuinely free.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.

Dr. Thomas also serves on the faculty of the Institute For Life Coach Training and the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: *Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice*and Your Life!* (W.W. Norton 2005) available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

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