Practical Psychology is a weekly newspaper column I have been writing for over 20 years. It is designed to address psychological topics that are most useful to its readers. Please feel free to re-print any of them in any form you wish. I ask only that you give the information about how to subscribe and credit for authorship. Thanks.

MAKING USEFUL DISCRIMINATIONS
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

All human responses are normal. There exist no thoughts, opinions, feelings, or actions, which are not appropriate...UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES. Even killing, one of the most universal taboos, is made appropriate in wars, food gathering, and territorial defending.

If all our behavior, both inside and outside our skins, is normal and appropriate, what keeps us or our relationships (as well as the world population) from becoming absolutely chaotic? How do we come to understand and promote "order" in our lives? The answer to these questions lies in our exceptional ability to make discriminations. We discriminate between "appropriate" and "inappropriate" circumstances, and govern our behavior accordingly.

Discriminations between "normal" and "abnormal," between "good" and "bad" behavior, depends on our values and our use of judgments. The cerebral cortex, that large brain structure contained in our human skulls, seems to be the organ mostly responsible for our ability to discriminate through using our ability to make judgments.

A child's cerebral cortex is fully developed usually around the age of 14. By that time, we begin to make discriminations on an adult level. Sometimes our values, judgments, and discriminations lead us to pain, self-defeat, problems, and death. Sometimes our ability to discriminate promotes pleasure, development, solutions, and a positive life. Our discriminatory ability is extremely important to the quality and character of our lives. Some important, and perhaps rarely considered, discriminations are between:

---leaning on one another and standing on our own;
---depending on others and imprisoning our lives;
---security and defense;
---giving gifts and obligating;
---acquiring and incurring debt;
---kissing and commitment;
---touching and sexuality;
---involvement and attachment;
---perfection and humanness;
---the present and the past or future;
---control and responsibility;
---freedom and aggression;
---too much and too little;
---waiting for someone else to make you happy and becoming happy yourself;
---internal and external strength;
---negative criticism and your self-worth;
---using our bodily energy and stagnating;
---fear, anger, sex, sadness, excitement, pain, and hunger;
---attachment and pleasure;
---suffering and desire;
---detachment and emotional safety;
---the cycles of life, death, and rebirth;
---our common humanity and political preferences;
---our freedom to choose and dependence on the health of our planet;
---pain and growth;
---change and danger;
---our singular individuality and unity with all Life.

Our ability to make healthy and positive discriminations needs to be developed, practiced, and used much more often. Our happiness depends on it. Perhaps our very survival as humans inhabiting the earth depends on our ability to make accurate, rational and beneficial discriminations.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.

Dr. Thomas also serves on the faculty of the Institute For Life Coach Training and the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: *Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice*and Your Life!* (W.W. Norton 2005) available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

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