Practical Psychology is a weekly newspaper column I have been writing for over 20 years. It is designed to address psychological topics that are most useful to its readers. Please feel free to re-print any of them in any form you wish. I ask only that you give the information about how to subscribe and credit for authorship. Thanks.

CHARITY
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

We have just passed through a holiday season in which the donating to charities has been highly encouraged...and commercialized. What ever happened to the meaning of the word, "charity?" The definition of charity as "an institution, organization, or fund for giving help to those in need" is sixth in the dictionary. Have we lost the first couple of meanings of the word? I hope not!

The first few listed definitions of charity include: "the love of God for man or of man for his fellow men;" "an act of good will or affection;" "the feeling of good will; benevolence;" and "the quality of being kind or lenient in judging others." I want to revive the meaning of charity to be "a character trait leading to loving behavior or actions toward others."

Charity, it its purest forms, involves not only character development, it also manifests itself in giving to others. Last Fall, thanks to people like Bill Gates, Bono, Oprah and Warren Buffet, philanthropy became rather popular. These people gave billions of dollars to others. Those acts of charity were born from their character as persons. But charity is more than the act of giving sums of money to those who are economically disadvantaged. Genuine charity includes the giving of our hearts, our minds, our time, our energies and our talents to enrich the lives of everyone with whom we come in contact. Charity is love in work clothes.

Today, we may think of a philanthropist as someone who gives big sums of money away. But the word, "philanthropy" is derived from two Greek words, "Philos" (loving) and "anthropos" (man). A philanthropist is indeed a "loving person." Physician, Albert Schweitzer once wrote: "I hear people say: 'Oh, if I were only rich, I would do great things to help people.' But we all can be rich in love and generosity. Moreover, if we give with care, if we find out the exact wants of those who need our help most, we are goving our own loving interest and concern, which is worth more than all the money in the world."

Here are five tips for developing charity in your personal character...and in your actions.

Tip #1: Make choices that show you care. Charity is a choice to care about others regardless of their actions. Charity distinguishes between who a person is and what he/she does. It recognizes the value of each person and cares accordingly.

Tip #2: Assist others to succeed. Charitable people are in the habit of looking for ways to help others succeed in attaining their own desired outcomes. They take the time to assist others in ways that benefit them...regardless of the cost.

Tip #3: Distinguish between "wants" and "needs." A person may want something from you, yet not really need it. If you give only what others want and not address what they actually need, you may be doing them a disservice.

Tip #4: Take a personal interest in others. People always want to know they are unique and valuable beyond their actions, their job performance, their mistakes and blunders. When you become genuinely interested in another's welfare, your character quality of charity is strengthened.

Tip #5: Give freely. Give with no expectations of anything in return. Helen Keller once said, "I find life an exciting business---and most exciting when it is lived for others." Charity means giving what addresses another's need with no thought of what you might receive in return.

Let's reclaim the true meaning of charity. Let's practice living it all year long in everything we think, say and do.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.

Dr. Thomas also serves on the faculty of the Institute For Life Coach Training and the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: *Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice*and Your Life!* (W.W. Norton 2005) available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

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