Practical Psychology is a weekly newspaper column I have been writing for over 20 years. It is designed to address psychological topics that are most useful to its readers. Please feel free to re-print any of them in any form you wish. I ask only that you give the information about how to subscribe and credit for authorship. Thanks.

ATTITUDE, EMOTIONS AND STRESS
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

That ancient Greek philosopher, Epictetus once said, "It is our attitude toward events, not the events themselves, which we can control." Combine that bit of timeless wisdom with one that is more contemporary and you get a proverbial formula for stress- less happiness: "Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we do not have. It's so simple, yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend." --- John Luther.

Behavioral medicine has clearly demonstrated that the human stress response does not go off in reaction to external events which are not physically traumatic. Rather, it is set off by the meaning we give to those events. In other words, stress is not caused by events outside your skin, but how we think about those events.

How we think about things is always colored by our mental attitude. In fact, David V. A. Ambrose once said, "Success or failure depends solely on one's attitude. All things are conquerable. It's simply a matter of beliefs and accompanying attempts." If the meaning you give to life's experiences is filtered through a positive mental attitude, successful creation of a happy life is almost guaranteed.

A reader of this column has sent me the following anonymous quote: "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it."

What attitude will you embrace for today? The first twenty minutes after you awaken in the morning are often referred to as "golden moments." During that time, you are closer to your unconscious mind than any other time you are awake. Do you wake up with thoughts that are positive? Do you fill your mind (and your unconscious) with the stressful news of the day? Do you count your blessings? Do you plan what tasks you want to accomplish that day? Do you read inspirational material? Do you fill your mind with regrets about yesterday? Do you emerge from sleep feeling overwhelmed with tension, anxiety or guilt? With whatever you fill those golden moments, it is those thoughts that determine your attitude for that day. You are in control of the thoughts that determine your attitude.

One last quote for today: "We either build or destroy relationships by out attitudes and expectations of ourselves and others" ---Joe Batten. What is your favorite attitude toward those closest to you? With your friends? With your colleagues at work? With strangers? With those who may not look like you or hold the beliefs you do? It is your own attitude that will create positive or negative relationships...not the beliefs nor behavior of others.

The position of a flying aircraft relevant to the earth is called the plane's "attitude." What position will you adopt relevant to life? What's your attitude toward your own life? Is it one of fear, anger or love and peace? If you don't like your current attitude, only you can change it.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology." Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.

Dr. Thomas also serves on the faculty of the Institute For Life Coach Training and the International University of Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams) the book: *Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice*and Your Life!* (W.W. Norton 2005) available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

Return to Article Index